Merton: The password is . . . Gargoyle, okay? And remember don't tell anyone,
Tommy: Okay, got it.
Merton: What's the password?
Merton: I Told You Not To Tell Anybody!
Cory the vampire
Tommy: oh wow . . . (looking a round)
Merton: (makes an "ah" kind of sound) the Decomposer 5000. the Cadillac of all caskets. English oak with a fine walnut finish, brass hinges and . . . well the satin lining's a little eighties . . . but otherwise. Top drawer !
Merton: what a wonderful scene, I mean the chemistry between them is palpable. I haven’t seen a cuter on – screen couple since Dawson met Joey ……… not that I ever watched The Creek…
The Vampire Ep. (old)
Damien: Sorry for hitting on your girl man I had no idea! Tommy: It's no big deal man. I mean she's not even technically my girlfriend you know…. I've always had a thing for her. It's …… Damien: Hey, love hurts man. I should know. I fell into the tender trap once too…. Vamp 2: Damien, that was 433 years ago, get over it !!!
Invisible Merton Ep.
Alaster Black: Well, well, well Merton Dingle Merton: Well, well Spineless Elven Blackburg Alaster Black: Still clinging to the midget Goth routine, I see. Merton: Hey, have you faced any invisible dragons lately, Eleven? Alaster Black: IT'S ALASTER!! And I don't play children's games. I've taken up to a grander diversion!! Such as sorcery… (Merton interrupts) Merton: Woo… what are you going to do, "Magic Man" pull a coin out of my ear? Haha, haha !!!
the butch ep. ( the guy from the 50's movie)
Tommy( to Dean): Yea, the Rialto doesn't even have cup holders in the seats. I mean what's up with that! (towards the camera)GO ANGRY BADGERS WHOO!
Tommy (to us): merton tried to explain to me how it was possible for Butch to jump out of the movies and into reality. I didn't understand a word of it But then again neither did he. Merton: If we can maintain a constant level of Emulsion you know. There would be, you know…. celluloid. And protons would converge, In a… in a… in a… Diverge… I… I don't know where I am right now I'm… ( pointing to the black board ) This… I'm lost.