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Pleasantville strangler 

Merton: The password is . . . Gargoyle, okay? And remember don't tell anyone, got it?
Tommy: Okay, got it.
Merton: What's the password?
Tommy: Gargoyle.
Merton:  I Told You Not To Tell Anybody!

Cory the vampire 

Tommy: oh wow . . . (looking a round)
Merton: (makes an "ah" kind of sound) the Decomposer 5000. the Cadillac of all caskets. English oak with a fine walnut finish, brass hinges and . . . well the satin lining's a little eighties . . . but otherwise. Top drawer !

Merton: what a wonderful scene, I mean the chemistry between them is palpable. I haven’t seen a cuter on – screen couple since Dawson met Joey ……… not that I ever watched  The Creek   

The Vampire Ep. (old)

Damien: Sorry for hitting on your girl man I had no idea! 
Tommy: It's no big deal man. I mean she's not even technically my girlfriend 
you know…. I've always had a thing for her. It's ……
Damien: Hey, love hurts man. I should know. I fell into the tender trap once 
Vamp 2: Damien, that was 433 years ago, get over it !!! 
Invisible Merton Ep.
Alaster Black: Well, well, well Merton Dingle 
Merton: Well, well Spineless Elven Blackburg  
Alaster Black: Still clinging to the midget Goth routine, I see.
Merton: Hey, have you faced any invisible dragons lately, Eleven? 
Alaster Black: IT'S ALASTER!! And I don't play children's games. I've taken
 up to a grander diversion!! Such as sorcery… (Merton interrupts) 
Merton: Woo… what are you going to do, "Magic Man" pull a coin out of my ear? Haha, haha !!!   
the butch ep. ( the guy from the 50's movie)
Tommy( to Dean): Yea, the Rialto doesn't even have
cup holders in the seats. I mean what's up with that!
(towards the camera)GO ANGRY BADGERS WHOO!  
Tommy (to us): merton tried to explain to me how it was possible for 
Butch to jump out of the movies and into reality. I didn't understand a word of it But then again neither did he.  
Merton: If we can maintain a constant level of Emulsion you know.
There would be, you know…. celluloid. And protons would converge,
In a… in a… in a… Diverge… I… I don't know where I am right now 
I'm… ( pointing to the black board ) This… I'm lost.